June 13, 2019
On a road trip one day,
exploring small towns,
looking at shops and people and houses,
and fields of trees and wildflowers.
I was excited, until my friend wasn’t.
The friend wanted rustic and bargainy.
This was contemporary and pricey.
I picked up jars of specialty jams,
patted huge round loaves of crusty bread.
The friend walked behind me, silent.
I oohed and aahed over the décor,
the oversized, brightly-striped $20 coffee mugs.
The friend called the decor spartan
and the coffee mugs clumsy.
But then I found it!
An item I wanted! It’s label caught my attention!
The name of it outrageous.
Other friends would love it and laugh.
It was expensive. I still wanted it.
Wanted to share the fun of it. To laugh.
Yet it was there, an aura of disapproval from this friend.
I let it seep into my soul and I didn’t
buy that thing that made me laugh.
Wanting this friend to have a good time,
I gave away the power to be me – my own self.
Three hours to home, I drove in silence.
Wanting to turn around, go back
and buy my funny thing.
Go back and be me! Cause a fuss, even!
But I didn’t.
Days of mad at myself, powerless.
Mad at my friend, pointless.
I should go back, buy the thing!
Three hours there and three hours back.
A silly, stupid thing to do, wasteful!
But exciting, powerful, made me giggle.
And so I did it –
drove the stupid six hours to buy the silly thing!
Cheering for my own self,
as I held the “the thing”, my trophy now.
A trophy to remember the hard work it is to take back our power when we’ve given it away so freely. This was a costly lesson for me. The item itself was expensive. Add to that the gas it took to drive those extra six hours. And a day of my life spent in the car, again. But no price is too high to set our steps right again when we’ve bungled it and tripped over ourselves. At the end of the day, I am feeling victorious! Again!