Cool Words

November 3, 2024

I’ve shared before that while I am definitely a person of faith, I  don’t share much beyond my friendship circles because I don’t seem to fit into the “traditional Christian box”, whatever that is.  Maybe I’m a little too private about this unless asked. I don’t know.

But the topic of “words” has been on my mind a lot lately, and I’m going to start this blog with a story about my faith before moving on to my real topic. So if you don’t like that, skip thsse first paragraphs! The rest will still be easy to understand without my little personal God story preface.

In my attempt to clear out tons of paperwork accumulated from my “working years”, I came across this paper in my journals. I often start my day with a sort of “dear God” ask, then sit for awhile and see what He seems to say.  I wrote this in 1993:

ME: Lord, what do I have to give You? I come with my alabaster box, but it seems empty. I can’t break forth in song. I have no instrument and my voice does not create beautiful song to worship You with. If someone placed an instrument in my hands, my fingers would not know what to do. It would be dead. I cannot worship You in music. 

I can’t worship You in dance because my heart does not flow into my hands and my feet. They only imitate what others do.

You have not created me to be an imitation of others. I know You made me new. So what is in my alabaster box that I can open for you? What is it?

GOD: Well, Clara, words are in your alabaster box. Since you were a little girl words have easily poured forth from you. Remember your mother’s stories of you as a two year old, delighting people, strangers and relatives alike, with adult conversations. You talked all the time!

Dedicate your words to Me, pour out the words in your alabaster box (heart) for others to hear!

This conversation went on for a few more sentences, but it has had me thinking again about words for the past few months.

Words we throw around so easily, words we hear others say and they resonate with us on some level so we repeat them boldly until they become our own.  Are most of our words just catchy phrases or kernels of ideas that we haven’t taken the time to really think about? Or things our groups have been saying and we adopt them because we like belonging to the group?

I’ve been intentionally listening and I wish I heard,  and said, more words with more meaning. Can I say something more that will be remembered by the person, that builds them up or challenges them? 

I have had conversations when I opened up a bit and shared a question I wondered about (about myself) and the other person replied with words, in one sentence, that changed my life, my direction, and I cherish that one sentence here now, even 30 some years later.  I want to be like that!

I have had conversations where I shared something I’m really excited about, or an insight I’ve just had and the response is “well, yes, that’s great, and I can see that, but….” and proceeds to disagree or correct me without engaging in conversation. Is our first response usually to disagree? Or to add to? What about “wow! that’s a great thought, where are you going with that?”  Do we use words to be smarter-than or to be one-with? I don’t know. But I’m watching very closely now, watching my words. 

I have also listened (for too long) as someone used words to tear my heart out. To assail me with words like bullets that tore at the fabric of my very being and sent me into a two-year sort of depression.

And I have listened as someone said to me: “the things that person said are not true, everybody knows they are not true!” And those words were like a healing salve to my shattered self. I have also shared deeply and heard no response…or the person changed the subject.  So a lack of words can still say much!

It seems to me that in our culture words are very cheap, thrown around with no concept of the consequences. Like freedom of speech has gone awry with statements like “I’m just be honest,” or “people need to know, or whatever justification fits the moment.

I long for those sentences that make me come alive, that speak life and encouragement and point the way for me to be a better person.

Yes, I am a person of words, and I am striving every day to have them be words of life and not death. To have words that teach and encourage and bring hope. It’s why I blog. It’s why I teach. It’s why I wrote a book. It’s why I invite people to come sit on my couch, coffee cup in hand.  It’s why friends gather at my dining table and talk over spaghetti dinners.

What gifts do I have to give? Not much. I’m not really all that talented.  But I have words. Words to give. And I will choose them carefully, always aware that words are like seeds planted in a person’s heart, ready to grow. Words to bring life and connection or death and aloneness.

PS: It’s been awhile since my last blog. I’ve been traveling a lot – to NYC and then to Savannah, Georgia. Driving both time! I’ll tell you about those in my next blog, maybe next week or so.