June 29, 2025
Sometimes I think I am terrible at this! Other bloggers have huge followings, and lots of comments. I don’t. The others actually generate on-line discussions! And so, I judge myself!
Some bloggers write multiple pages every few days, or at least once a week. And they do little things on “reels”. They have lots to say. I have lots to say, but I don’t put it out there for you. I don’t know why. Writing it in my own notebook – I’m good at that. Talking face-to-face, when we sit on the couch, coffee cups in hand, I’m good at that too.
I’m inspired with lots of thoughts and ideas and I put pen (actual pen) to paper (actual paper). But sitting in front of a blank computer screen, thinking of putting it out there for scrutiny, well now I have to make sense of all those scribblings in my notebook, and my mind goes blank.
So a few weeks ago, I read my old blogs from the beginning and I was pretty impressed with myself, if I can say so. But so, what happened to me that words and ideas were so easy to put into paragraphs and whole stories then. I wrote a whole, published book for goodness sakes!
And then, just this morning, while watering my newly sprouted carrots and beets, it came to me.
Life made sense back then, and now it kinda doesn’t. Or at least it hasn’t until recently, and I’ll get to that later.
I know I ramble on a lot about aging and I wonder if you all get tired of it. After all, it’s something none of us want to think about, much less enter the world of someone who’s actually really aging! I’ll be 82 in July, so I’ve been here awhile.
I’m pretty good with life stages, knowing how to grieve, and then happily moving on to the next stage. Like when my children were babies, I loved every minute of it. Their baby smell, and cuddliness. All of it. And when they became toddlers and I had to put away the baby clothes and toys, it was really sad. Especially when I knew they were my last babies! I let myself be sad for awhile, but then I embraced the joy of the present stage they were currently in. Looking forward! Their wonderment in discovering ants, and grass and sand. And new foods. And books! Oh yes, books! My favorite thing. Toddlerhood was wonderful.
And so it has been with each stage of my own life. Even to grown children moving out and becoming an empty nester. Really sad then, for a bit. But I moved on to the joy of having empty rooms that I could now use for guests, and hobbies, and whatever I wanted. We’ve live in a tiny house, so the empty space was inviting. I loved that stage of life as much as the baby days, toddler days. Even retirement.
I could explain more about each stage, but that’s not the point right now. Because right now there is no wonderful next stage to look for ward to. That’s the truth. The hard truth.
I want to have lived well, and age well, and even die well. But there’s no path walked before me, to follow, no mentors, no one to look up to or ask questions to.
So I talk and write about it a lot because it helps me to organize my own thoughts and then, maybe more importantly, it just might be something you want to think about for yourself.
So here’s a few things I’ve learned (all by myself) so far:
Older age brings out and magnifies the attitudes we carried all those years before. If we are negative and complaining, if we have a “poor me” attitude before we reach age 60, well, that’s probably not going to change easily. We won’t just reach retirement age and be cheerful and appreciative and fun to be around . I’ve watched people think it would happen and then they just couldn’t change. So lesson #1 is to work on those things now. Appreciate every day and every person and well, just everything, and do it now.
And #2 is don’t move into those older years having to prove something. If you have to prove it to yourself and/or others, do it now. All those thoughts about things you want to do, would love to do, want to accomplish like going to school, running a race – do those things now. I love being this age and knowing I have nothing to prove – not to myself and certainly not to others. I’m pretty happy with myself and with my life.
And then #3, rely on your own self to know things. I’m not saying never ask for opinions on things, but ask yourself first. You didn’t get to these older years without learning about life. About a whole lot of things. You probably can make a bunch of decisions without needing everyone’s approval.
#4 is this: if you can, hang out with cheerful older people and see what you can learn. They have lived though some important stages of history, have had careers, raised families, watched loved ones die. Reflecting on their long and full lives will help you to look forward to your own future years yourself.
One last thing till next time: if you are already in your older years, take some time and start a list of the things you have done, things you’ve accomplished, things you are proud of. Things like, raised a family, home-schooled my children, wrote a book, ran a 5 mile race, camped in rugged places, took care of my aging parents, lived by a budget, always paid my bills on time, learned a new language, volunteered to help at a food bank…whatever! Instead of thinking of what you can’t do or “failed” at, write out your accomplishments, however small or big, and post them on the fridge.
And for today, go have fun!
Wildly Clara 
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