May 22, 2019
I got myself into this mini-funk the past few months, not depressed…just disinterested in general.
Every one thing was good, each piece of life was, but I didn’t know what to do with the pieces.
They didn’t connect into some one bigger thing.
Like jigsaw puzzle pieces scattered all over the table! 1000 pieces I need, must, put together to show myself, to show the world…I don’t know what, but something great, or at least noteworthy. I must be making…something!
But I didn’t have a box lid with a picture to show what I’m aiming for. How and where each piece goes, how they all are supposed to fit together to make that beautiful, meaningful something.
Lately it struck me, while sitting in my yard on the swing, pondering this.
I don’t have to have a big picture on a puzzle box. Sometimes its ok to enjoy each piece for the beauty of itself…the greens and blues and yellows…magnificent! Not everything has a lesson in it and not everything has to be done to fit the spaces in my picture, or even someone else’s picture.
Sometimes gardening or meeting with friends or volunteering or cooking are pieces of the puzzle. Working on getting my book published is one piece of the puzzle. Now I’ve learnt to enjoy the process, have fun doing each one, and then put that piece down and move on to another one. One thing at a time, on purpose. That’s just the stage of life I’m in now. Cultivate and enjoy instead of strive and build and accomplish, maybe.
I got bogged down wanting each puzzle-piece of life to make a big beautiful picture I could be proud of! They don’t. And they don’t have to fit together and be heading somewhere.
I have 896 puzzle pieces left. I’m going to spend the next days and years picking up each piece and enjoying it for what it has to give and then I shall put it down and pick up another. And not care where it all leads.
I think I’m out of my funky mood because now I know life is not a jigsaw puzzle to be completed!
Wildly Clara 
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