I love writing. Of any kind. You know I do.
But the last few years flattened me in some ways and I wanted to write but felt I didn’t
really have anything to say worth someone else’s time. I had lots of good paragraph, all
looking to become articles. But nothing that I felt excited enough about to take time to
just sit in front of this blank screen and make them come to life. I was pre-occupied with
shaping my own life in this new world of a pandemic, which caused rifts between friends
over politics, over church decisions, over masking and vaccines and the tons of other
Even though I absent myself from discussions and arguing our points of view, it has still
changed my friendships. I sort of have a rule that we don’t talk politics and we don’t talk
covid while we are together.
Not why we gather anymore. I used to love discussing points of view with people who
have a very different perspective that I do. Iron sharpens iron, as the saying goes. My
thoughts were expanded and refined then.
Now it seems that, as much as I love the same people, a switch has been thrown and
anger and defensiveness weave their way through talking. There is no longer a
learning from each other, but a drive to be “right” and to prove it. I have listened to
people with previously soft words become instantly angry and defensive. People I have
never in twenty years heard say a negative or angry thing. People now looking for a
fight, that’s how it feels.
So I stick to the “no politics and no covid” rule because I love these people and want to
keep in relationship with them. We have too much history together to throw it all away
now, as I’ve seen so many others do. Severing relationship over this stuff. That’s not
for me.
Because I think, as polarized as everyone seems now, we all really want the same
things. At the bottom line anyway. At our core. Everyone wants to feel safe, to feel
secure, to be loved, and have good jobs. To feed our families and pay the mortgage with ease. Each “side” wants the same things. But we do disagree on what will get us
those things and what puts them at risk. On what path will bring that security we so
desperately are afraid we will lose.
Both “sides” are fighting for their lives, their way of life. And everyone seems afraid. And
fear makes us defend what we think will bring us safety. So we all want the same
things, we just disagree on how to get those things.
That’s a long explanation about how I’ve come out of some of my “writer’s block” for
blogging these past few years. I did however finish the book chronicling my trek from
being a really bad person to a pretty nice one. It was not an easy story to write, being
that vulnerable, but I finally finished several re-dos and additions. I have now forwarded
to a person who can format it correctly for Amazon Kindle.
So, after two or so years of barely posting anything to wildlyclara.com, I am ready to talk
about stuff again.
About my ever-new adventures and challenges, about losses and grieving, about
seeking to be really healthy at 79 without giving up those chocolate chip cookies and
mac and cheese!
PS: Next month I’m off to camp alone in BEAR country for 4 full nights – stretching my
skills and comfort levels by staying safe and living as minimally as I can!

%d bloggers like this: